The trick for petite people is to create an illusion of elongation. If you keep the design simple but long it should create the illusion of height. Avoid very puffy, meringue type styles as they could overwhelm a small frame and will cause you to disappear - exactly the issue you are worried about.
If you have a very full figure, go for a mermaid style wedding gown that will give a slimming effect or a high-waisted A-line dress with a low neckline. Don't go for a really clingy style or material that will just highlight all the wrong bits.
One suggestion is to wear to the suit without the vest. The vest is what makes it seem like a very formal clothing item. You can just wear the suit by itself for other people's weddings, interviews etc.
Also you can use the vest without the suit, pairing it with jeans and a t-shirt when you go out.
Vents are the flaps on a suit jacket. In the 80s it was very popular not to have vents in a suit jacket at all but now that has changed. 2 side vents are popular in the European fashion scene. A central vent is a popular choice and you can't really go wrong with that option.
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