My Iphone4 is disabled, windows and iTunes does not recognize it, I want to factory rest it.

Thy restoring the latest backup you made on your computer, with iTunes. The try to update again.
You also can ask for support on this page. (most is free) They even helped me in the Apple store (genius bar) for free with an 3 year old iPhone 4
iPhone Apple Support

Hold and press both power and home button.

If iTunes is not recognizing and syncing with the iPod Touch try:
http://support.apple.com/en-us/TS1538

Also try disabling your anti-virus software as this can cause communication issues with iTunes and your iOS device.

Nope impossible. You need iTunes to revert back to factory default. Ask a friend if you don't have Windows or OS X for iTunes to run.

This is a job for an Apple Genius. You will have to make an appointment online with a local Apple store.

This means the device was reset to factory settings. You need to connect the device to iTunes. Go to a Mac or PC with iTunes, start iTunes and connect iPhone to the Mac/PC and follow on-screen directions. You will need to reestablish your iTunes account to the iPhone for apps and music (assuming you use iPhone for apps and music). If you have only download apps/music to iPhone and never performed a sync/backup to iTunes (really bad idea, BTW), I would suggest making an appointment at apple.com with the Genius bar at a local Apple store.

Hold down both the power button and the home button for 10 seconds, release the power button, keep holding the home button for 10 more seconds, iphone should be in DFU mode. Restore with iTunes.

How to Turn on Genius
The iTunes Genius feature suggests and recommends new music, movies, and television shows based on your device's music library and playlists. The Genius feature can automatically create new playlists for the user to enjoy and will do so based on the different genres and styles of media already present in the library. Using Genius, you can discover new music that's interesting to you.

Instructions
1Open iTunes on your computer.
2Click the "Store" menu link then click "Turn on Genius."
3Click the "Genius" entry in the iTunes sidebar to the left then click "Turn on Genius."
4Select a song in your iTunes music library and click the Genius icon located at the bottom of iTunes. The icon is represented by an atom.


f you are using iTunes for the first time, you will see Genius listed on the left side of the iTunes window above Playlists. Click Genius and then click Turn On Genius to start using Genius. You can also start Genius by choosing Turn On Genius from the Store menu in iTunes, or by selecting a song from your library and pressing the Genius button at the bottom of the iTunes window.
When starting Genius, you'll be asked to sign in with your Apple ID or create a new one and agree to the terms and conditions.* iTunes will then proceed to gather information about the contents of your library, send this information to Apple, and download Genius results. The time to complete this process will vary depending on the size of library information and the amount of traffic on the iTunes Store. At any time during this process you can use iTunes to play music or other content.
To turn off Genius, simply choose Store > Turn Off Genius in iTunes.

By "open", I assume turn on power to your iPhone 4. If you have tried turning it by pressing and holding down the sleep/hold button (located on the top right of the phone) and it is not on, try plugging it into a wall outlet. Your iPhone's batter may be dead, and by plugging it in, the iPhone will automatically turn itself on while charging. If this still does not work, try plugging it into the computer it is synced to. If iTunes does not open and recognize your iPhone, take it to an Apple Store Genius Bar.
If you mean physically opening your iPhone, there are tools available online to assist you. Be warned that by opening your iPhone, you are voiding Apple's Warranty.

First, plug the iphone into the wall with your usb cable and power adaptor. Then hold down the sleep/wake button (button on top left) and the home button (bottom middle button). Keep holding those two buttons until you see the Apple logo. This should turn it back on and then charge it. If not, Genius Bar.